Thursday, May 28, 2009

Phew! Finally the end. Cliched at may sound... I am breathing easy now. One year at Hopkins. I should be proud. I am. It is not an easy place to be and I also have a tendency of screwing up the easiest tasks. But it's over. So over. (As Meredith Grey once said!).

What a year it has been.

It was a year of win some lose some. Throughout. I made great friends, made some im-definitely-not-your-friend(s). One thing I will attest to was that there was no monotony. Maybe the constant action and reaction was tiresome.

I got over some well-entrenched prejudices, saw myself in a new light... i.e. accepted that I have my faults and I am really not as perfect as I imagined myself to be. :)

It's been a year where I've done some growing up. And some age-defying regressions.

If I sit with an account book, my family size has stayed constant.

I've learnt so much in the past year, I think I haven't retained even half of that. And I am not talking academics here.

My weekend love notes are a hit. Atleast with some ppl.

Cooking has been good too. Though tidiness needs to be worked on.

Love for clinical medicine is returning. That's a change since my last year's b'day post.

I've begun earning. And more than half my pay goes in paying rent for a house I hardly live in. Apparently, it's called modern-day life.

I am pathetic at negotiating.

I still get tongue-tied with people I have crushes on. It's ridiculous.

I was blessed with an awesome roomie. Hopefully I'll say the same thing same time next year.

My old friendships stayed intact. That's cool!

Hmm... so much to mull over. Should do that on my shuttle ride.
Have decided to start making to-do lists. For everyday. For life.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

5 months

... 2 weeks became a month... became 3 months.. became 5 months.
i am still standing... or rather finally standing. but not without wavering.
the tubes still haunt me. the bruises from the needles still tarnish the lasting memory.
the grief remains. it's a lil easier to deal with and accept now. but it hasn't lessened.
i guess this is what the others meant... you'll move on. but it never goes away.
how can it go away? how can he become just another piece of memory stored in my limbic system?
he's watching over me. i feel that all the time. i feel the strength.
... and that's what keeps me going.
i have two dreadful exams in the next two days. but he told me that the only thing i should fear is fear itself. yes, i am learning dad. learning the hard way - because now you aren't around to chase away my fears and i have to do it on my own.
i wonder why i don't have a recording of your voice. but i am assured that i'll never forget the baritone.

love you dad.
more with everyday. and i know that you know it too.

love and hugs,

Saturday, May 2, 2009


Pleas to melt the stone hearted we've heard
But butter turning to stone has been a recent sight
Few moons ago, we could melt in each other
Now we stay apart in silence, such a pathetic plight

Introspection is tearing neurons apart
Silent voices make a lot of noise
I am trying to identify the right signal
That will give me the true association to set this right

Why is our interaction regressing into a confounding variable
Your presence positively modifies the effect of my happiness
It doesn't matter how close or how far we keep the variables in the equation
How do I assure you that your significance in my model will never depart?