ANSWER

This might seem redundant - to beat my chest and cry aloud for what is happening to my beloved Mumbai, my city, my home. I have always been asked what community I belong to - and people are always surprised to know that I am a Tamilian. (Apparently, I look like anything but a Tam). I am not bragging, but I have always claimed to be a Bombayite at heart and a Mumbaikar for political correctness. I identify more with the cultural bhelpuri that Mumbai is a moniker, a metaphor for, than with my Tamilian roots. Make no mistake, I am not denouncing my roots - I am very proud of it. Yet, if I were to choose, I would choose the city of my childhood, the city that gave me everything I have today - the city that shaped my dreams.

And today, my home is burning. With rage, with shock, with sentiment, with grief, with red tears that stain its structures in the false hope that the sea, betrayed by treachery, will wash them away.

I am oceans away from home, yet my grief is no less and the pain is palpable even in this cold town I live in.

My questions might seem redundant, boring, oft-repeated. But as Mumbai's child, as a stakeholder, as someone whose home was invaded, ransacked and whose home survived an attempt to reduce its structure and fabric to rubble, I demand answers to my questions - NOT BECAUSE IT'S MY CITY, BUT BECAUSE IT'S MY COUNTRY:

1) How can the home minister of the state have the sheer audacity to relegate these horrific incidents to be termed as "small" incidents that Mumbai is now used to? Does he have a heart? Does he have a brain? Does he have eyes? Does he have any sense?
He hails from a small town unaccustomed to the terror that Mumbai has seen in the last 15 years. He came with a baggage of small-town mentality that was focussed more on shutting down dance bars (as if they were terrorising the city) and forgets that as the Home Minister, it is his duty to ensure REAL EFFECTIVE EFFICACIOUS BULLET-PROOF JACKETS TO ATLEAST THE ANTI-TERRORIST SQUAD. It's a no-brainer situation to me. He sits in a plush bungalow surrounded by commandos who ought to have been protecting innocent citizens, but were forced to protect this insignificant insensitive man as a call of duty. Will someone at least slap him?

2) WILL PEOPLE PLEASE STOP BRAGGING ABOUT MUMBAI'S RESILIENCE? There is a limit to how much you can falsely hype our helplessness for resilience and use it as an escape into amnesia. Does anyone remember the lives lost in the July 2005 floods - where is the promise to clean the Mithi River? A 2001 report had pointed out the failure of intelligence activities on the Indian coastline - the primary route for terrorists in the the 1993 Blasts and the 2008 Massacre in my home. How many years and how many more lives before you sitting in that high and mighty chair will decide to do something about it? Don't politicians at least have a collective conscience that reverberates into action for national security consciousness?

3) WILL SOMEONE INVEST IN THE POLICE FORCE OF MUMBAI? PLEASE. It is no joke that the city falls prey to terrorism time and again. If it is not suffering from chilling spineless ruthlessness and cowardice of terrorism, it is held to ransom by the mindless bloodshed by the underworld, or just the gimmickry of cranky politicians greedy for print space.

4) Will the responsible politicians please step down? I DEMAND THE RESIGNATION OF VILASRAO DESHMUKH, R R PATIL & SHIVRAJ PATIL.

5) WIll AFZAL GURU PLEASE BE HANGED - ATLEAST NOW? (Yes, I absolutely support capital punishment for the devil incarnate).

I am seething with anger, I am pained with the grief, I am scared for my people. We have been taken for granted for too long. It is payback time - to give Mumbai its due and not leave it to bleed each time in the false hope that resilience will bandage its wounds and the need to survive will nurse it to normalcy. Enough is enough.

Never alone

I am never alone in this crowd
It’s never quiet, there’s always a shout aloud
Yet loner they call me, so it be
The silent noises wafting seamlessly

Lonely I walk, but am not alone
Stalking me is my past soul
It’s funny that my alter ego talks in a guy’s baritone
If he comes alive, he better be handsome and toned

They talk to me, I stare at them
Wondering if they said something now
It’s queer to ask them to repeat their lines
Once, twice, thrice; but then how many times?

It feels so weird, so many voices
When it’s just two of us debating the choices
Physically I might look like two
But now my mental twin is trapped in my body too

AAAAAA I wish I could scream
I stuff the pillow on my face screen
To stifle the cry, and deafen the noise
But their sounds penetrate them even otherwise.

Friends

Twas’ a dull dark morning, the sun unlit
I was walking fast when I saw it
A vision bright, blinding light
I was alone then as I was in the enlightenment
It seemed like I needed none
But without them, it wouldn’t be so much fun

My life was not incomplete without them thus far
But now for them I hold my heart’s door ajar
They’re there to hold me when I twist, sprain and fall
They laugh at me, for me, with me and that’s them my friends I call
Come share my madness, my dreams, my fears I beseech
Never do my pleas go unheard, but so also never do they preach

They’re my loved ones in a new world unknown
I lead the way, tread carefully in the know
That beside, behind and in front of me they will be
And they will always love me. :)

...

She stood by the door, waiting for a friend
Twiddling her thumbs, pacing end to end
Smiling to herself and then breaking into a frown
Looking into the faraway and then staring at the marble down

Seemed like she was nervous, anxiously excited
As if in the next few minutes, would be her future decided
She looked at her watch, her cell phone, the clock
Then slumped into a chair, like a ship pulling into the dock

She stood up suddenly, put her hands in her pocket
The time of reckoning had come, the time of docket
She took a sharp breath and another long and deep
Knocked at the dark brown oak door and took a peep

I wondered what news it would be, good or bad
I certainly liked her, wished it wouldn’t be sad
I was waiting for the bus, it was cold and dark outside
It was past half an hour, when the door creaked aside

They came out kissing, hands intertwined
I saw the ring and gladly resigned
I was happy for her, the glow on her face was bright
The darkness outside lessened because of her light

What is it about happiness that makes light out of dark
Doesn’t joy and enthusiasm make you want to sing like the lark
It’s so amazing how time can tell a story
One moment of tragedy and then a blaze of glory

I‘ve dived into that uncertain happiness, I’ve swam in it before
Until yesterday, when disappointment washed me ashore
Someday venture again into the unknown, I’ll dare
But for now, I’ll just build my castles in the air

Stranger

You touched a chord in my mellowed heart
Music came alive and rejoice in the hearth
Where were you when I intended to silence my voice?
Or were you always there to dampen the other voice?

Were you my companion in boredom?
Were you the one who plastered a smile over my misery?
Were you the one who walked with me so I wouldn’t fall
Were you the one who loved and hugged my all

You seem an old acquaintance, yet I don’t remember seeing you ever
We’d probably just brush our arms in the crowd
We’d probably acknowledge each other in the elevator
Yet I wouldn’t know who you were, but this is what I have to say

I never want leave you thankless
I never want the sun to come down on your face
You bring cheer, joy and light that precious candle
The light of hope that brings with it the zeal of life

Good-bye ol’d dear stranger
Whose identity was never revealed
All I saw were the footprints in the sand
Yet I am as far from the ocean as can be

Blind Vision

I set out with a vision bright

My head held high, legs rapidly astride

Nothing escaped me, nothing failed to cheer

The green foliage, the wet earth, the cool breeze

Sending me a reminder that the universe was with me

That I was a part of them and they were a part of me

That I would survive and prosper just like

An old ancestor of theirs did.

Along the way, I saw many faces

Some gay, some tired, some anxious, some excited

Some of the faces joined in my smiles

We paced ourselves together animatedly

A journey we called friendship

But then sometimes we would have to split

So that we could meet again at another turn

And what a surprise it would be,

To meet them where the twain roads met!

I kept walking, I wanted to explore

I was curious, how could one tiny cell

Bring so much beauty to the world?

It could rule a body, a mind, a soul

And it was just a nucleus and some fluid walling it off

I didn’t mind come rain, come shine

I would keep walking alone or together

Until the end of time

I kept walking until the landscape changed

I had never looked back until I came here

And now when I did, I found myself

In a vast endless desert

Far removed from where, I could

Reach out to someone

Isolated, tired, in desolation

I trudged along with trepidation

In the hope that I would find an oasis

I was petrified of that scorpion sting

The heat of the sun was scorching

The sand was angry, hostile to me

And then all I remember is a feeling of bile and

A black vision in front of my eyes

I had set out with a vision so bright

That wouldn’t dim in the light

But I cheated myself

For I shouldn’t have dreamt

Of seeing the world

When I knew

I was blind.

Sex and the City: The movie original soundtrack

I've never really been a SATC fan. Could never keep awake for the 11 p.m show on HBO when it was telecast in India. The movie released around a time that I was ready to pull out my hair in angst and boredom. Moreover, my cousin, an avid fan of SATC (a fall-out of the in-flight entertainment aboard Continental Airlines flying from Newark to Delhi) was persistent in her efforts to drag me to PVR Cinemas to watch the movie - and she won.

So there we were, on a Thursday morning at 10 a.m. for a show that was unbelievably priced at Rs. 70 (considering PVR is a fabulous cinema hall, with lush purple cushions and a cozy ambience and the tickets are never less than Rs 150). So that was paisa vasool no. 1.

The movie itself was cool - it wasn't just about sex and the city, actually it hardly spoke of either. It was more about relationships, friendships, misunderstandings and letting go / forgiveness. I really took to the last lesson - it was portrayed subtly without being preachy, without the melodramatic dialogues, without any fuss. I have my gang of girls who I love to hang out with, talk to, confide, confess. We're a closely knit group without being glued to each other. The friendship that the girls share in the movie could have been a depiction of what I share with Meera, Anita, Namrata, Poorti, Mano,  Bhu, LP, Ashlesha, Chan... I can write a whole blog dedicated to just us, but I'll save that for another day. The camaraderie that Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda share (without breathing down each other's necks) is probably the story of a million girlfriends in the world. So the storyline and script and the acting in the movie - was paisa vasool no. 2

And now finally, the subject of today's post. The Music - paisa vasool no. 3. The first song that caught my attention was a catchy foot-stomping number that had me remembering it even days after I saw the movie. I later discovered it to be Labels or Love by Fergie. (The only song by Fergie that I'd heard was Clumsy - it's a favorite for my niece). I was thrilled when I discovered it on youtube and it left me wanting more. Courtesy Ruckus (a music player that is exclusively available to college students in the US for free), I downloaded the entire soundtrack.

And I loved all the songs. Each and everyone of them. Each song has its own mood, a life of its own. There's Nina Simone, Jennifer Hudson, India Arie - yes, of course it has a more feminine touch to it. Don't expect rock or anything loud. It's pleasant to the ear and it grows on you. It really does. My personal favorites are Kissing and Labels or Love. But I really like each one of them.

I would really recommend that you listen to these songs. It's a superb ensemble - and you'll have one for every mood.

Even if you're PMSing!!! :)